- Brett Gustafson
- Sep 13, 2024
- 7 min read
This is usually a place you go to find average sports analysis… “Average at best…” Ok, ok, below average sports analysis… “that’s better” with some poorly timed jokes about your uncles fourth marriage but instead of sitting here and complaining about Sean Payton and Bo Nix with his electrifying “Patrick Mahomes” 2 yard passing skill set (there will be plenty of time for that). I wanted to take some time to talk about something near and dear to my heart, a tv show. Well not so much a tv show but a 23-year long marriage between three aging friends from the United Kingdom in Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May or as most know them the hosts of Top Gear from 2002-2015 and the Grand Tour from 2016 to well today. That’s right after 23 long years the trio of car enthusiasts are calling it quits but not before they have One For The Road.
Back in 2002 after a day of playing football in the backyard and Sunday taco night, my dad while sitting way to close to the 27 inch gray tv with built-in speakers on each side in his old blue chair with a couple Ortega hot sauce stains on it from previous taco nights was scrolling through the newly acquired Dish Network directory of channels when he stumbled across a channel called BBC America where a little car show called Top Gear was airing. Without hesitation he clicked on channel 135 and that is when we got introduced to a brash, oaf of a man named Jeremy Clarkson and his short, secret American of a co-host Richard Hammond talking about the newest super car to come out of Italy in funny British accents. My brother and I couldn’t stop giggling at the way Jeremy yelled “power” at the top of his lungs while slamming the pedal to the floor in an overpriced supercar.
We were just mesmerized by the allure of the show from the white helmeted Stig racing around an old, abandoned airfield somewhere near Surrey to the star in the reasonably priced car. It was like nothing we have ever watched before. It was in a land far away from the minivan riddled streets of the Twin Cities. So, my dad left it on, and we watched the whole episode through tears in our eyes from laughter in amazement. I’m sure he left it on because he saw the giant smiles on each of our faces. Little did we know in doing so that with one little press of the button on the clicker it would start a 23-year long love affair with 3 men. For everyone that is reading this and is going to say, “Brett it’s a remote not a clicker… what kind of grown man still calls a remote a clicker…” I don’t want to hear it. To this day my mom and dad still call it a clicker. Deal with it… you click things on it so it’s a clicker… I don’t know what made my dad stop and CLICK on a show called Top Gear but boy are we all glad that he did.
Now I know what you’re thinking, “Brett you have only mentioned 2 of the 3 hosts” and you would be right that’s because Captain Slow James May didn’t join until the second season and when he did, he really brought the show to a halt. Let me explain. We are first introduced to the long haired spaniel James sitting on a bench next to the edge of the water paging through a magazine full of old used cars while the Always Sunny in Philadelphia theme song was playing in the background trying to explain to us that you could get an old slow Bentley for the same price as a new Ford Mondano. Long story short you can but you shouldn’t. He took 5 minutes to explain something that could have been explained in 5 seconds. It was at this point I knew this guy was the perfect break hovering ying to the pedal to the floor yang of Jeremy and Richard.
What separated Top Gear from other shows besides the chemistry that those three had was the way they looked at cars. They looked at cars as people, from their temperamental nature to their stubbornness and that couldn’t have been clearer than when they did a segment called, can you buy a Porsche for less than 1,500 pounds. Well, they did and let’s just say it didn’t go according to plan… Richard found a blue 924 while James turned up in a rusted white 944. But the ever-optimistic Jermey decided to turn up in a 4.7-liter V8 928 a car that has no business being that cheap. Finding the Porsches cheap was the easy part because they were then told to drive from London to Brighten in their cheap Porsches and it didn’t go well for one of them in particular, I’ll let you guess who… that’s right Jeremy. The 928 began to overheat and steam started cascading out of the hood in a matter of minutes. The engine needed a whole ocean to keep it cool. But steam wasn’t the only thing to come out of that segment, it sparked a whole new world of opportunities for buying cheap cars and challenging the host to complete task in them.
This is when the show really started to gain traction on its way to becoming the most watched show in the world. The producers came up with all sorts of outrageous challenges for Jeremy, Richard and James to complete including, turning cars into caravans, building a hover van that could be both driven on the road and on water, turning a minivan into a convertible then driving through a zoo, building amphibious cars for cheap then driving them I around a lake, turning a car into a rocket ship and that’s just to name a few.
But the specials were truly an incredible ride full of breathtaking scenery, wonderful people and vehicles that had no business being where they were. The Polar Special is a perfect example of that where Richard in a dog sled raced James and Jeremy in a Toyota pickup through some of the harshest terrain on the planet to the north pole, something that has never been done before. The Vietnam special was one for ages when they decided to do a road trip on cheap motor bikes through the entire length of Vietnam, which is over 1,000 miles long. It was hands down the most grueling adventure they were tasked with. But the USA special sticks out to me for some reason. Maybe it’s because I’m an American but it really shined a light on our country maybe not a good light but a light nonetheless. The hosts were tasked with driving a cheap car from Miami to New Orleans and they found nothing but trouble along the way. From writing sayings on each other’s cars to try and get the other one shot to finding an OX on the side of the road and grilling it up for dinner. It was truly an experience that made for great television.
Unfortunately, Top Gear had to come to an end. We won’t discuss the details that caused an abrupt end to the program but let’s just say Jeremy was being Jeremy and may or may not of punched a BBC producer in the face… But the trio stuck together even after everything that happened with the BBC and rebounded to sign a giant deal with Amazon's streaming service Prime Video and that same comradery from Top Gear carried right over to their new show The Grand Tour. They still had the same challenges, star in a reasonably priced car, a version of The Stig, a track where they tested cars. The Grand Tour even had the same kind of specials we came to know and love. It didn’t matter what channel or now steaming services they were on, what mattered was the comradery that those three had. It had a new face, a new tent and a giant new budget, but it still had those three old guys arguing about stupid stuff for hours on end and that’s what mattered.
That’s what made the show great, it was just three friends traveling the world together who just happened to bring cameras and a large crew with them. It didn’t matter where they were in the world they were going to tell one hell of a great story about the country they were visiting and the people that inhabit it. I don’t know why this show and these three guys resonate so well with me and my family. I think it might have to do with the fact that growing up it was about the only thing we could agree on watching together. There was never an argument over the clicker when we saw that Top Gear was on. It’s those little memories of childhood that stick with you for a lifetime and you gain kindships with something you do as a family, even if it's just sitting around the tv watching three guys talk about cars for an hour.
Lastly, it’s rare when a show has a deeper meaning for individuals than what it actually is and for me this was that show. I don’t know if the 3 of you will ever read this and let’s be honest you probably won’t. But if you do, I just wanted to say thank you, Jeremey, Richard and James, for teaching me that cars do have personalities. Thank you for giving my brother and I a shared interest when we had none. Thank you for Sunday nights gathered around the tv with my dad watching you travel the world in cheap cars and him telling stories about his own car journeys throughout the world. Thank you for the Christmas specials that had our pants buttons bursting from not only the Christmas ham but the laughter as well. Thank you for teaching me the value of friendship through cars, travel, mental breakdowns, busted radiators, crashes, license plates, a machete through a car window, an ox on the top of a car, a hovervan, a toybota and most importantly laughter.
Even though sometimes the show seemed scripted, you can’t script chemistry like that. It isn’t something that is formulated in a lab. When you have it, you have it and you three have it. Through very thick and very thin you stuck together to form a friendship stronger than a brick wall that a semi-truck couldn’t drive through with stories that will last a lifetime. So, from the bottom of my heart thank you for the memories and for sharing your stories with the world. If this is the end which it sounds like it is, enjoy one last one for the road, you deserve it.
Thanks For Reading and Check Out “The Grand Tour, One For The Road” On Prime.
