Hawkeye Flies Above The Rest!

“Excuse me sir, sorry to bother you but is this the line to get into the Target Center for the Iowa game?” I politely asked an older gentleman with a beard so perfect that it looked like it came out of a Just for Men touch of gray ad. “Why yes, yes, it is young man. It continues just behind us for about a block.” He said with one of those Northern Iowa drawls that you're not sure whether he owned a farm in west Texas or was on the Canadian Olympic curling team. “Thank you, sir. Hey quick question while I got you here, how long have you been here for?” I asked with genuine curiosity. “Ohhh only since 6:30 this morning.” He said like it wasn’t a big deal at all. “6:30? In the morning?” I said while questioning his sanity. “Do you know the game doesn’t start until 5:30 tonight?” I asked with a little bit of sarcasm. “Sure do young fella. Just wanted to make sure my wife and I got a great seat to see Caitlin Clark in action… Were huge fans.” He said while he ripped opened his button up jacket to reveal a black Iowa #22 Jersey. I looked at him with genuine joy and said, “Alright Then, Let's Go Hawks! I’m going to go get in line now. Enjoy the game.”

As my dad and I started to head further and further down this queue, I started to realize why they got there so early. The block long line that the man with the perfect beard talked about had now turned into about a 2-mile-long line of black and gold Hawkeye fans. Every corner we went around we thought this must be the end of line, it just had to be and every time we were wrong. I told my dad “I don’t think in all of years of coming to sporting events I have ever seen anything like this.” He looked at me like he was deep in thought and said, “I don’t think I have either… Well… maybe the 1986 Masters when Jack Nicklaus shot a 30 on the back nine to win his 6th green jacket would rival it.” I looked at him with a smile so big that it almost broke my jaw and said, “God your old.”

As you could have probably guessed from the paragraphs prior to this my dad and I attended the Big Ten Women’s Basketball Tournament at Target Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota this weekend. When I say I truly haven’t seen anything like this in sports men or women. I truly haven’t seen anything like this. I couldn’t believe the sheer lunacy surrounding Caitlin Clark and the Iowa Hawkeyes. It was honestly like the whole state of Iowa congregate on the city of Minneapolis just to get a glimpse of their local hero Caitlin Clark. People of all ages were passing out (I don’t know if that part was true) and crying tears of joy just when they got a glimpse of her. It was the most incredible thing I have ever seen. The only thing that could have rivaled it was, if you stuck Titanic Leo and 2019 Masters winning Tiger Woods in center court reenacting the “Jack I’m Flying” scene together. “Open your eyes…” “I’m Flying… Tiger” (cue the music) “Near, far, wherever you are, I believe that the heart does go on, Once more, you open the door, And you're here in my heart, And my heart will go on and on.

It's not just the 4-mile-long line to enter the target center that was insane. It was the ticket prices. I was looking at tickets while waiting in line to enter the Target Center, trust me I had time. I was seeing up words of 6 hundred dollars for center court seats for a quarter final… A quarter final. It was more expensive than a Taylor Swift concert. I think it’s pretty safe to say that #22 on Iowa, Caitlin Clark is an absolute rock star. She might be the best college player of all time, period. I think the stats would agree as well. She became the all-time NCAA Division I men's and women's scoring leader by passing Pete Maravich's 3,667 points, earlier this year. She also broke Steph Curry’s record for most 3-pointers scored in a season.  She is now the Big Ten all-time assist leader. I mean I could sit here all day and rattle off stats about how good she is. But it still wouldn’t give her justice.

If you haven’t taken the time to watch Caitlin Clark play throughout her 4-year career at Iowa, take some time this March Madness season to watch an Iowa Hawkeye game. You won’t regret it. I’m not the biggest fan of basketball by any means but when you see highlights of someone throwing up logo 3’s and draining them like it’s a layup, toss behind the back passes that arrive in players hands faster than you can say dish, throw outlet passes like Tom Brady to Randy Moss, you kind of get intrigued. I swear I was watching the second coming of Steph Curry. With all that being said I hate to do this, but she has one thing missing from her illustrious resume and that’s a championship. Until she does that I don’t know if we can call her the greatest college player of all time. But I can’t wait to see her try. I will be watching this year's March Madness closer than Leo and Tiger holding each other on the front of the Titanic. (Cue the music) “Near, far, wherever you are, I believe that the heart does go on, Once more, you open the door, And you're here in my heart, And my heart will go on and on.

A Denver Dumpster Fire

I’m no expert in the world of finance… I mean I can do my own taxes with a few phone calls to my mom… (humble brag) but I’m pretty sure that an 85-million-dollar dead cap hit just by releasing Russell Wilson, isn’t a great way to run a business… Let me call my mom quick just to make sure... Yep she agrees that accounting seems a little off... But, let me get this right, you couldn’t find anyone to trade a 7th round pick and eat half the 85 million for Russell Wilson… not even the New England Patriots who are stuck in mediocre hell with Mac Jones at the helm… Not even the Pittsburgh Steelers who have a pair of first round QBs who are… what’s the word I’m looking for… Not Good… Not even the Atlanta Falcons with I’m scared to through it past 3 yards Desmond Ridder running the offense… you couldn’t find anyone? Anyone!!! I don’t mean to bully those other teams but when you feel insecure about your own team you start to lash out at others to make yourself feel better… its classic bullying 101… Oooh yeah, I have seemed to of forgot to mention the two first round picks, the 3 players, QB Drew Lock, TE Noah Fant and DT Shelby Harris that you gave up to get Russell in the first place… We just let all that go. For what? FOR WHAT???? Hold on, hold on… I need to take a second and remember what Dr. Pepper said, “when the Broncos are in the news for doing something stupid breath in through the nose for 5 seconds and out through the mouth for 7 seconds…”  “Breath in 1,2,3,4,5 and out 1,2,3,4,5,6,7… Ahhh I don’t know about you, but I feel so much better.

Quick question for Broncos upper management... How would you assess how the Russell Wilson trade went? Not Good? Great at least we agree on that… When the trade for Russell Wilson first was announced I was beyond excited. I was thinking this was a great opportunity to win another championship. This strategy worked once before with Peyton Manning and I thought “alright here we go again…” I was truly excited for what was to come… then I quickly came to realize after the first game against Russell’s old team, they didn’t have a clue on what they were doing and ooo yeah… Von Miller and a little thing called the No-Fly Zone wasn’t there either to clean up the offense's mistakes like one sheet of Bounty on some spilled chocolate milk… That team that Peyton Manning joined was actually ready to win now, on the sole fact that they had an all-time great defense to carry the load. Russell had a stellar record of 11-19 as a starter for the Broncos… Was it all his fault? No, not by any means, the Nathaniel Hackett experiment did not go well… at all. The offensive line was a disaster, upper management didn’t have a clue on what they were doing when they offered Russell 5-years 242 million dollars while trading away some pretty great assets in the process… But all these problems started to bud and grow from one seed, one giant overpaid seed from Seattle…

Who oversees this shit show? Breath Brett, Breath… Ok your right internal conscience, let’s look at the positives. We actually have a first-round pick, that’s great news. We could draft a new quarterback, let’s head on over to “Mel Kiper’s Mock Draft Big Board 2.0 for 2024 only between the week of March 4th and March 11th, that will probably change by the end of tonight” and take a look at our options. Caleb Williams sounds pretty darn good, oh wait he won’t be there he’s going first overall. But you could just trade the next 10 years of first round picks and Patrick Surtain for the first overall pick… you’ve done it before why not try again… Ok how about Drake Maye? This kid can sling the pill with the best of them! He won’t be there either Washington needs a QB… Alright, not the worst thing in the world who’s next? Heisman Trophy winner Jayden Daniels! That sounds great! Oh, the Patriots need a QB as well… this isn’t looking great for the Broncos. Ok… So, who’s left for the Broncos at 9? I know… Bo Nix and Michael Penix who have a combined age of 50 headed into their rookie years. That seems like a great idea… Or… J.J. McCarthy… Great! Well, it looks like I’m just going to find a new and creative way to gouge my eyes out while watching the Broncos this year… Breath in 1,2,3,4,5 and out 1,2,3,4,5,6,7…

Soo, it doesn’t seem like the draft is the answer for the QB problem, maybe you should look to trade available and free agency quarterbacks. I mean Sean Payton seems really great at motivating older QBs… Justin Fields seems like a great option besides the fact he runs backwards for 3 miles and then dumps it off for a 3-yard gain… In one of the best moves you have made lately you took an all-world cornerback in Patrick Surtain over Justin Fields, so why trade for him now? Let’s stay in the same division and talk about Kirk Cousins, not a bad option at all he has proven himself to be a very adequate quarterback over the last few years. But there is one major problem he is 35 coming off an Achilles injury and is it worth signing him for 35 plus million a year… I still think so but with an 85-million-dollar dead cap hit looming over the organization like the cloud in the movie Nope, you may not have the money to afford him. Hey, you know who’s available though? Drew Lock… I mean this is too good to be true. Go out and sign Drew Lock to a 2-year deal (it’s about all you can afford) and see what the kid has under a new coaching staff. Former first round pick Sam Darnold seems like a very viable option as well, he looked pretty good when he subbed in for Brock Purdy last year. There is a plethora of cheap mediocre quarterbacks out there just waiting to get snatched up to carry a team to 8-9 record…

In all seriousness what are you going to do? You really kind of messed up this situation. Everyone is human, we all make mistakes, and this Russell Wilson trade was a major mistake but it’s how we learn from our mistakes that help us grow as people. So how are we going to learn and grow from this? I think maybe we start by not trading 19 assets for one player, it’s just a thought. Do I trust Sean Payton to get things turned around? Kind of… but with the Broncos having pick 9 there isn’t a chance of getting one of the top QB prospects and with cap issues I don’t think there is a Drano style quick fix out there. I completely agree with the fact we had to get rid of Russell Wilson that clearly wasn’t working. But what do you do? There isn’t a good option out there at this moment in time. All I do know is that the Waltons don’t seem like a very patient group of people, and they want to win now. The two biggest problems you have right now though have nothing to do with your team and everything to do with your division. Those two problems come in the form of a guy named Patrick Mahomes and a guy named Justin Herbert who now has a coach who knows he’s doing in Jim Harbaugh. You can do all the shady accounting and breathing exercise you want but with those two teams in your division, lead by those two guys, it’s going to be a rough road ahead, like driving up hill in Duluth, Minnesota during a blizzard. If you know, you know.

Formula 1 Fever!

I went go see my doctor (Dr. Pepper) yesterday morning because I was having some really strange symptoms… Symptoms like, ears bleeding, blurred vision, lead foot, my excessive need to run my neighbor Carol in her Toyota Sienna off the road just to beat her to the grocery store, to grab the last watermelon on sale, “You cut me off Carol!” “Rubbin’s racin' little man, how did my dust taste as I blew by you?” “Like your mothers hoo-ha, I’m coming for that ass tomorrow, when frozen pizzas are buy one get one…” “Loved to see you try!” But the main symptom that I noticed was, I had a really hard time pronouncing names like Max Verstappen, Fernando Alonso, Charles Leclerc, Nico Hulkenberg, Oscar Piastri, Esteban Ocon. I looked at Dr. Pepper with a worried look on my face and said, “What’s… What’s wrong with me doc?” He smiled with the most yellowed stained teeth I’ve ever seen and said “Nothing… Nothing at all, you have a case of F1 Fever, it’s Formula 1 Opening Weekend Baby. You see the Civic out in the parking lot, just fitted a new rear wing to it, I’m going to go race the neighbor kids on their Mongooses and show them what real speed is…” “Hey Doc, Aren’t Mongooses bikes?” “They sure are but Johnny down the street has been talking shit thinking he is faster than me, it’s time to send him back to his crib…” “What does that even mean?” “I don’t know… I went to med school for 12 years, not the school of shit talking…”

Formula 1 has always had a soft spot in my heart. It harkens back to the days of helping my dad build model F1 cars with so much precision on car that Dr. Pepper would be jealous. My dad was a huge racing fan, he loved everything about cars and that definitely got passed down through the family. We would gather around the TV and turn the dial too BBC America just to watch Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, James May and the Stig test drive and crash some of the fastest and most expensive cars in the world. Too this day whenever there is a new Grand Tour Special my brother and I pack the car up and head on over to dad’s just to watch it with him. The F1 love didn’t stop there it carried over into the video game world, I remember spending 24 hours with a greasy PS2 controller in my hand, racing on Gran Turismo around Trail Mountain, just to earn the F1 car so we could beat every other car in the game with it. We would switch off with some of the neighbors when are thumbs got tired from holding down the X button for too long, it was truly a grind, that was until we were fortunate enough to get the PS2 racing wheel and that changed everything… We were so much worse at the game… Maybe I should break that wheel out and get some practice in before tomorrow’s dash to the grocery store against Carol.

There was nothing like seeing grainy footage of Michael Schumacher in a red Ferrari with a giant Marlboro logo strapped to the side of the air intake, racing through the streets of Monaco. Those opened wheeled cars with little to none in the way of safety precautions were just a different sight to see, the way they went left and right was just memorizing to us American’s. We were used to big heavy Fords racing against big heavy Chevys as they turned left on an oval track for 4 hours. So, when I laid eyes on an F1 car for the first time it was like out of science fiction novel, or you know… Spaceballs. NASCAR was like the old Winnebago captained by Lone Starr and Barf that could occasionally hit light speed when needed while F1 was like Spaceball 1 captained by Lord Helmet, going at Ludacris speed as they go racing past Lone Star… “They’ve gone to plaid…” How can you not be just enthralled by the sheer speed, the deafening sound, the unique accents, there is nothing else like it on this planet.

“If I could just take the roundabout just a little wider so Carol comes up and blocks me, I can dive down low and pass her on the inside… Yeah that’s what i'll do… Shoot sorry where was I? Oh yeah F1…” For most Americans Netflix’s show Drive to Survive really got us into or back into the sport of F1. If there is one thing Netflix does well besides making horrible over budgeted movies, it’s sports documentaries. Drive To Survives popularity has helped F1 grow at extraordinary rates here in the states. Since 2018 F1’s U.S. viewership is up 70%... that’s an astonishing amount of growth. F1 is growing faster than a drive through line at a new Canes location. With that kind of growth rate, it’s no wonder they have now decided to have 3 races on the F1 calendar over here. With stops in Miami, Austin and Las Vegas, it is becoming a must go to event for every person with deeper pockets than Warren Buffet. “Hey Brett, you want to go to the F1 race in Vegas?” “Yeah! Let me know how much tickets are and i'll book my flight.” “Looks like tickets are around 1,000 for a grandstand seat…” “You said what now?... a 1,000 what? Dollars?... U.S. Dollars?… Yeah… about that… I’ll enjoy a nice Fresca and watch it from the comfort of my own home…”

The Bahrain Grand Prix this weekend marks the commencement of another F1 season, and I think everyone is hoping that this year is going to be a little different that the last couple. You could be the biggest Red Bull Racing fan in the world, and I think you would love to see the smug winning smiles of Max Verstappen and Christian Horner turn into smug losing frowns. Everyone just seems tired of seeing those two guys winning every single race. It might be time for a new power couple to take over this year. I don’t think anyone would be upset if they saw Lando Norris and that American bond villain Zak Brown lifting that championship trophy at the end of the year. Well not Lando at least. I hope this is the year that Lando finally finds his way on top of that podium. He is way too good of a driver not to have a single win in his career. What about the power couple over there at Ferrari between Charles Leclerc and that French Bond villain Fred Vasseur. I know Ferrari… is well… Ferrari… But I have a hard time routing against Charles Leclerc, he seems like a pretty good dude that just wants to win. There is one power couple over at Mercedes on their last ride together that I would love nothing but to see them win the championship at the end of the year. Lewis Hamilton and his Austrian Bond villain of a partner Toto Wolff are on their last ride together since Lewis Hamilton announced he is moving to Ferrari in 2025. Which is being called the biggest break up since Britney Spears and Kevin Federline called it quits back in 2006. Toto and Lewis have been together for over a decade and have 7 world titles and 8 Constructor Championships together. It’s safe to say that I think both guys will want that 8th world title to come this year more than anything…

Is it just me or does every F1 CEO and Team Principal look and sound like a bond villain… Anyways which ever Bond villain you’re routing for this year (hopefully its not Christian Horner) we will all feel a little empty on Sunday when everyone’s favorite Bond Villain of all Guenther Steiner isn’t going to be sitting in that HAAS seat swearing up a storm through his team radio at his drivers. You will be missed Guenther and hopefully you will be the team principal of another team soon enough. Either way Sunday should be fun. The commencement of any season for any sport is always an enjoyable affair and what comes with a new season is newfound hope. There’s hope for your team and drivers, there’s hope that Red Bull ends up getting last, there’s hope Lewis Hamilton wins an 8th title, there's hope Lando Norris gets a win, there’s hope I dust Carol on the way to the grocery store. So, whatever you’re putting your hope in this weekend just enjoy the sights, the sounds and the accents, that make Formula 1 the spectacle it is!