Minnesotans' Playoff Expectations...

Something strange is happening in Minnesota. No, Lutefisk soaked in a bath of lye didn’t suddenly start tasting like a t-bone lathered in garlic butter from Manny’s Steakhouse. But instead for the first time since Kevin Garnett lead The Minnesota Timberwolves to the Western Conference finals back in 2004, the Wolves have playoff expectations. That’s right you heard me the laughing stalk of the NBA since their first squeak of a howl back in 1989 have expectations to make a run in this year’s NBA Playoffs. The Timberwolves being in the playoffs is rarer than witnessing the Sailing Stones of Death Valley but throw in a 3 seed with a super star in Anthony Edwards and a darn good roster with Rudy Gobert and Karl-Anthony Towns into the mix and we are officially in Nathan Drake Uncharted territory. Not Tom Holland's over CGI’d Nathan Drake movie but the PlayStation Nathan Drake, truly uncharted territory. It’s not going to be an easy road by any means with Kevin Durant coming to town in the first round while Jokic, Luka and the ghost of LeBron lie in wait for a later date. But led by a young superstar and some savvy veterans, The Wolves for the first time in a long time actually have a chance to capture the coveted Larry O’Brien trophy and bring home a championship to a state that is so clearly starved of one.

Minnesotans have had a long ongoing mental battle with playoff expectations, and it seems to only be getting worse as the years go on. The second we end up making the playoffs and see are match up, all you hear rippling throughout our 10,000 lakes is…

“Oooh look dear The Wolves are in the playoffs.”

“Isn’t that nice sweetie.”

“Yes, dear it is, but they will find away to blow it more than Bill trying to catch dat dere world record walleye over dere off of Lake Winnibigoshish last weekend. He swore he got it in da boat, but everyone knows that’s just Bill telling dose fishing stories.”

“Ooh ya betcha, that darn Bill always fibin’ about the size of his fish.”

“That reminds me honey, I gotta go down to Dave’s and get some more leeches' for opener.”

“Oooh k honey have fun, dinner will be ready at 5, we’re havin’ yer favorite, Tater Tot Hotdish.”

“Oooh hot toddy, honey yer da best, I’ll make sure to hurry back, I’ll only talk to Dave for a few hours.”

“And sweetie…”

“Yes dear…”

“Don’t think about goin' and buyin’ any new Rapala rod and reel.”

“Don’t worry honey I won’t… but you didn’t say nothing bout a couple new lures…”

It’s a sad, sad existence here in the Land of Sky-Blue Waters. No, not our lifestyle of drinking Hamm’s beer and talking to the local bait shop owner for hours on end about how we “almost” caught the next world record musky but our attitudes towards our sports teams. Everyone in Minnesota just seems so negative and hopeless towards all of our sports franchises. It could be the fact that over the last umpteen years Minnesota sports teams have had a habit of blowing every playoff appearance they make. From the Twins getting stomped out of the playoffs every year by their older, wiser, and better-looking brother from New York to The Wild having their best teams ever and watching them get blown out of the playoffs by the likes of Patrick Kane, Jonathan Toews, Corey Crawwwforddddd and The Chicago Blackhawks to The Vikings always being… well… a “kicker” away. There is one exception for Minnesotans playoff sadness over the last 30 plus years, and it comes in the form of a Lynx. The Lynx gave us hope that maybe we are starting to turn things around here in the northland with their 4 WNBA championships in 7 years, proving that it can be done here. But like all good things in the world, they must come to an end and resort back to mediocrity eventually.

Before the Lynx went on their improbable run of 4 WNBA championships in 7 years, we have to go all the way back to 1991 for our last title run, I was in my mom’s belly when a young man by the name of Kirby Puckett behind the cavernous roar of a Metrodome crowd led The Minnesota Twins to there second world series title in 4 years. It’s been so long since we have experienced a championship in the 4 major sports here in Minnesota, that some of us, including myself haven’t had the opportunity because we weren’t even born yet. I never got to experience Kirby Puckett doing his best Spiderman impression as he climbed the plexiglass in left center to rob Ron Grant of an extra base hit and eventually hitting the walk off homerun to led the Twins to a game 6 victory. I never got to experience Jack Morris doing his best Iron Man impression by pitching a 10-inning complete game in game 7 of the 91’ World Series But The Timberwolves have a chance to create a new experience that Brett Favre couldn’t do, Kevin Garnett couldn’t do, Joe Mauer couldn’t do, hell not even Marián Gáborík could do. That is to bring home a championship for a whole new generation of sports fans.

I don’t care that Kevin Durant is rolling in here with a pack of lethal assassins trying to diminish our wolf population. I don’t care that Vegas has The Wolves as underdogs to win the opening series vs The Suns. I don’t care that we got made fun of for celebrating our 2022 play-in-game victory like we won the championship. I don’t care that the Minnesota Wild finished barely above .500. I don’t care that the Twins are off to a 6-11 start. I don’t care about Kirk Cousins leaving. I don’t even care that Minnesotans have worse attitudes about our sports franchises than New Yorkers do about theirs. I’m changing the negativity, I’m changing the bad attitudes, I'm turning those miserable Half Moon Lake frowns upside down because I have confidence that our under-wolves are going to make a deep run in the playoffs this year. The past in the past and the future is now! So, wash away that negativity by grabbing an ice-cold Hamm’s from your moldy Coleman cooler, dump some lava hot charcoal into your old rusty Weber grill that’s been in your yard since the Reagan administration and toss on some lye-soaked Lutefisk because it’s playoff time in Minnesota and my vocal cords have been waiting a long, long-time to howl at the moon in joy…

“Psst… Brett… Pssst… Brett…”

“What?!”

“The Wolves are 0-3 against The Suns this year and Kevin Durant is 10-2 in the first round of the playoffs..."

“Well Shit!”

Thanks For Reading and Go Wolves!