A Griswold Family Double Header!

                When I saw that there was a Monday Night double header in the middle of December, I lit up like Clark Griswold’s Christmas Lights after Ellen finally flipped the switch to turn on the lights and blinded the whole city of Chicago. I was gleaming with joy, but that joy quickly turned into disappointment when I saw it was Packers vs Giants and Dolphins vs Titans. I was more disappointed than Clark when he saw Cousin Eddie in his front yard wearing a white robe and a trapper hat, pumping the RV's shitter into the storm drain. It did not look like great match ups on paper, but paper can be deceiving and so can my eyes, because last night we ended up with two great finishes. I was more surprised than Clark when he opened his Christmas bonus envelope, only to find a Jelly of The Month Club membership. By the way, there is only one Christmas movie that should be watched every year. Don’t come at me telling me that Home Alone, Elf and a Christmas story are better movies than Christmas Vacation. Nothing and I mean nothing will have you laughing more than the dysfunctional Griswold Family Christmas, that we all can all relate to.

                The Packers Giants game last night was a doozy to say the least. The second half was filled with more action than Clark going sledding after applying his companies new cooking spray on his sled. With back and forth scoring from both teams. It was actually fun to watch, especially when I went into it with little to no expectations. Once again, a prime-time game came down to the wire with this local, still lives with his parents, New York, folk hero, Tommy DeVito being the savior once again. Well, he and back up kicker Randy Bullock who nailed the game winning Kick From 37 yards out, wearing the number 46 on his jersey, which caught me off guard for a second. Tommy DeVito and his Italian finger celebration has been hotter than Johns of Bleecker’s coal fired pizza oven. In the words of Judge Smails “the mans a menace.” His first two games on to the scene were less than stellar with passer ratings of 78.1 and 67.8, but since then in his last three starts he has a combined passer rating of 118.5 with 5 touchdowns and 0 interceptions. He has been hotter than a slice of pepperoni pizza from Joe’s. He somehow has led the Giants to 3 straight victories over the Commanders, Patriots and now the Packers, saving everyone’s job in the process well everyone’s but Daniel Jones who may be on his way out of town faster than the squirrel running through the Griswold’s home. Speaking of another thing that has been moving faster than that squirrel is The Italian finger celebration, it has taken the league by storm. He seems to have all the Giants faithful in the stands doing it whenever they score a touchdown. It reminds me of the Money Manziel celebration but a little more hole some… With the win last night Tommy DeVito has taken a Giants team that was colder than an Italian Ice from Ralphs and put them right back in the playoff conversation somehow…

Now to a team that is slowing working its way out of the AFC number one seed conversation in the Miami Dolphins. What the hell happened last night to the Dolphins when they had a 27-13 lead with 4:34 left in the fourth quarter? The only thing I can think of is that the defense decided to just stop playing and give up big play after big play to Will Levis and Deandre Hopkins. The Dolphin’s lead was gone faster than Cousin Eddie driving his RV to go pick up Frank Shirley. Levis and Hopkins made it look easy, they cut through the Dolphins defense like a Ballad from Chris Stapleton cutting through a sold-out crowds’ hearts. It was impressive to watch, so impressive I’m ready to crown Will Levis the next great QB in the NFL. Well almost he has a long way to go before that happens. But those last 4 minutes from Will were really impressive. More importantly how do the Dolphins let a pretty awful Titans team led by a rookie QB come into their house on prime time and beat them in the final seconds. I’m sorry, not just beat them but let them comeback from down 14 points with 4:34 left on the clock. It’s insane, now there were a few major problems for the Dolphins last night, they got a little banged up throughout the game. Some injuries happened on the offensive line which left Tua no time to throw at all. But the big one was that Tyreek Hill went down in the first half with an ankle injury from a nasty uncalled horse collar tackle. After that he just wasn’t the same, taking long periods of time off and when he was on the field, he just didn’t look the same, he didn’t have the same speed and explosiveness that we are used to seeing out of the NFL’s receiving yards leader.

What do we do with Dolphins, I want them to be good so bad and make a deep run in these playoffs, they are way too much fun to watch. They have a greatest show on turf feel to them, with Tua commanding the huddle and throwing some of the most accurate passes this league has ever seen. The Dolphins have speed everywhere from Tyreek running past everyone on the field, to the explosive back field with Raheem Mostert and Devon Achane that seem to bust 50-yard runs on every down. But you can’t trust the Dolphins at all, they seem to stub their toes more than Margo Chester after Clark turns on his lights for the first time. If they don’t watch their backs and start putting some space between them and The Bills. I hate to say it, but The Bills might come charging right up behind them and snatch the division right from their flippers.

The NFL should throw some more random double headers on Monday Nights at us. That was fun. Granted It helped that the games were good. If we had two bad games, I don’t think my mood would be the same this morning. But two good games with great finishes, sprinkled in with a little Peyton and Eli who had no idea what they were doing with two games going on at once. It just goes to show how good Scott Hansen is on the Red Zone Channel with the Octo Box going he still can command the boradcast like a boss. But all in all, it made for a pretty darn fun night. Almost as fun as sitting around on Christmas Eve watching Christmas Vacation with my family laughing at the same stupid jokes that we hear year after year. How can you not laugh when Cousin Eddie yells at the neighbor “the shitter was full”? It’s an amazing comedy movie, some of Chevy Chases best work, with so many one liner’s that it will have you in stiches. I will die on this hill, that it is the greatest Christmas Movie of all time. If you haven’t seen it in a while or at all, give it a shot, trust me the only thing you will regrate is not having enough stiches…